bathroom etiquette

I’ve been fuming over this for a couple weeks now.

When a man enters a public bathroom, he is presented with 4 traditional ways of urinating. Three of these ways are what I’ll call “socially accepted” and they include using the urinal, lifting the seat on the toilet, and sitting down to use the toilet. The fourth way, pissing in and on the toilet without lifting the seat, is, assuming you’re sober, degenerate.

That’s why I have called for the castration of those individuals who intentionally piss on the toilet seat when there are 3 other methods readily available. This will ensure they prescribe to one of the socially accepted methods. This will also give them some extra time while they’re cleaning the seat to reflect on what a jackass they have been.

One could argue that the toilet seat is dirty, but that is why bathrooms also have sinks and soap. I would hope you’re washing your hands anyway, (though I see plenty of evidence to the contrary) but that’s another discussion.