Month: March 2005

So I’m driving out to my Aunt & Uncle’s in Hillsboro to see my grandma who is in town from Nebraska. There were four car wash/fundraisers on the drive out, each seeming to share some sense of urgency. Maybe they know we’re going to have a water shortage and wanted us to get our cars cleaned before rationing….

Anyway, the last of the washes had two ungainly teenage girls and a dirty mustache boy waving signs. They obviously had less pull than the other car washes, and boy-stache tried to make up for it by attacking my masculinity.

“Dude, a pimp needs a clean ride.”

I wanted to laugh and point out how absurd it was that he suggest that I would even try to “pimp” in my mother-in-law’s car. Sure, the Camry is nice, and it rides so smooth and quiet that you can float the streets listening to jazz. But pimping? Kid needs to shave and stop watching MTV.

During lunch I sat outside with the dogs and watched birds flit around the back yard. I think I saw some wrens, which I hope have decided to take up residence nearby. Then, because I sometimes have base thoughts, I wondered about uttering a long string of dirty bird names, and whether or not would get you in trouble (as a child) since they were proper names.

Titmouse, woodcock, red shafted flicker, barn swallow, grackle.

The last one isn’t really dirty or suggestive, but it sounds like it could be dirty. And they’re lame birds. Still, what would happen to a child who stood up in class and said those out loud and possibly out of context? Are they dirty? Or is it just if you mean for it to be dirty that makes them count as bad words?

And what about damn? Why is it a bad word? Its so useful and other words that mean roughly the same thing (darn, blasted, cursed) aren’t considered bad. Is it because its mostly used in conjunction with god? Is it guilty by association simply because you’re not to take the lord’s name in vain (like we know what its name really is…)

Maybe I’ll start introducing damn into casual conversation to see what the reaction is. It seems like a damn useful whatever grammarians call it.

A while back I made a rather cryptic promise to see KRS-ONE if he came to Portland. Here’s what it was regarding:

“I write with a free hand, I write with a purpose
If you bought the CD, thanks for the purchase
If you downloaded the album then COME to the concert.
Don’t sit in front of the computer ’til your eyes hurt.”

That’s certainly a poor example of his skill as and lyricist and emcee, but he’s got me made. I figure the very least I can do is go see this mastermind in his element. If you’re not sure who I’m talking about, check out this revealing interview with The Onion (seriously..)

Anyone know a good editor? Mine isn’t available and I’m horrid at it. I’d be willing to pour you a beer or two if you can give my final paper a quick look to see if there are any logical gaps.

Its rare that I make a fashion faux-pas, but you see, I rarely wear anything that qualifies as fashionable. I think this qualifies though.

Yesterday morning I got out of bed and put on the first shirt in my drawer. It was a Maui dive shop t-shirt I picked up in… um…. Maui. The next morning Michelle and kathy were leaving for Maui, without me. I realized that the shirt might appear as some sort of whiney statement (that I’d not anticipated (though Freud says that there are no mistakes)), so I pulled on a long sleeve shirt.

Later, I met up with some friends for a beer and was immediately asked about my shirt by a friend. He asked when I got it, which made me realize I got it from his ex. It was kind of funny, but only because I put the shirt on to hide my other shirt. I should have put on a coat, I guess.