The joy of an authentic Flowbee® haircut

There is little in the world that rivals the joy of an authentic Flowbee® haircut. The relaxing hum of the vacuum, the airy massage of your hair being lifted, as if by magic, the simple snip of rapidly oscillating blades. And afterwards, a generic, repeatable, and inoffensive haircut that only costs you 30 minutes of your time and much of your wife’s dignity. And that’s without posting pictures of it on the internets.

This is actually the second Flowbee my family has owned. They still have the original pre-Wayne’s World Suck-Cut model. It still works, and they’re offering it to me. The new one is much quicker, and was kind of scary. It cuts faster, and my hair was longer than the attachment I had selected. But its done. And the only remaining problem is the tangle of neck hair that someone who really cares for you will trim.

So on this Thanksgiving, I’m thankful for a free hair cut, family who will help trim my neck, and a wife that puts up with me. And the internets to share all this on.