Faux Pas

Wanted to pass along a link to Alan’s latest instigation project – FauxDaddy.org, where he chronicles his troubles with his registrar GoDaddy.com and DomainsByProxy, who divulged his information without due process, violating their contract, and exposing his and his wife’s identity to a seething tangle of upset poets.

Scared the Crap out of her

One of the funnier (in retrospect) stories from the OBF was the accidental introduction of Barley and Maddie right by Barley’s food dish. As I recently mentioned, Barley is turning in to a bit of a situational asshole. Well, it turns out his buttons are threats to food, threats to toys, and getting hurt. This is the story from my perspective, and there are probably at least 4 decent versions going around.

Andrew and I go into the basement to get some fans to help cool down the house. As we re-entered the house, Barley slipped by us into the sun room where Holly, Michelle and Maddie were doing part of the home tour or something. Barley immediately noticed that Maddie was *in the same room* as his food and transformed into asshole Barley (Barshole). This was a bit spookier than previous tussles because Maddie screamed bloody murder (barked it, anyway) and Barley grabbed at her collar. I pulled them apart but they were still close to each other and Barley simply went back at Maddie, once again grabbing her collar and a fair amount of hair. I grabbed his collar and tried to pull him off Maddie, thus lifting both dogs a little. Eventually I used my leg to wedge them apart and threw Barshole to the rug and pinned him down while Maddie escaped. The whole scene was rather scary, and I ended up with terra cotta tile burns (like rug burns) on my knees. Once we’d all calmed down, someone noticed that there was a single, solitary turd on the tile. It appears that Maddie (though it could have been anyone, I suppose) had the crap scared out of them, literally, by the incident. No one wanted to take the blame, so for the purpose of this story (and history), Maddie had the crap scared out of her.

I venture that Barley’s side of the story went like this:

Do do do do do – I’m so excited there are people here – people to pet me. Let’s go back inside – look more people! Oh crap – there’s a dog trying to eat my food! I’ll kill her. I’ll kill her. I’m totally kicking her ass! What the hell – The hairy human seems upset with me. Oh – they’ve left defenses down and the dog is trying to eat my food again! I’ll kill her! I’m being lifted! I’m being slammed to the ground and yelled at! What did I do? That’s my food! What’s that smell?….

Maddie’s was probably something like this:

(nervous pant noise) We’re in a strange place. Where’s Holly going? I should follow her. Holy cow – there’s a dog attacking me. I’d better scream! Help! Help! Help! oh good – they’re saving me. Oh no – he’s attacking again! What did I do? Save me! Save me! (poop!) Oh – I’m so embarrassed! I’d better go outside.

I’m not really sure what other sides of the story sound like – but I know Andrew was somewhat pleased that Maddie finally got her comeuppance, though I don’t think she deserved being attacked by Barshole. They got along the rest of the weekend, but what a nightmare.

Beach with Meg and Troy

Michelle and I spent a relaxing (though somewhat laborious in the oompa-loompa sense) weekend with Meghan and Troy on the Oregon Coast. The only real objective – make chocolates for their upcoming wedding. We managed that in fine form – and Troy and I actually did help – both in cutting and forming caramel, but also in quality control – by which I mean eating the chocolates that the girls deemed not of sufficient quality.

And speaking of “not of sufficient quality”, has anyone seen The Terminator lately? It sucks! They had the original VHS tape which we watched on what must have been a VCR from that same era. We also ate well, let the dog swim in the water, and relaxed. This is in stark contrast to what Matt’s just posted, but it’s really nice to see friends in smaller groups even when you really can catch up. OBF and the 4th were great, but there are so many people and so much has happened.

On the way back from the beach, Michelle and I applied steady pressure regarding the awesomeness that is Portland in an attempt to counter the pro-Bellingham arguments. I’m not sure if it worked, but never-the-less, we tried.

4 years

Today is Michelle and my 4th anniversary. Or our 9th, if you add the 5 pre-marriage. Either way – it’s a longish period of time that we’ve hardly noticed passing.

And speaking of passing – for dinner we went to Concordia Ale House and I had the Firehouse garden burger. It was the first time since 7th grade that a restaurant prepared meal has kicked my ass. I finished it, but had to know why it was so hot. The owner said i was the sauce – a honey, thai red chili, sweet chili and habenero reduction. Ok – that explains it. But for the record, I finished it.

Grandparents Duck visit

My mother and Grandparents stopped in to visit yesterday and my grandmother was relieved to see that her dining set actually did fit and was in good shape (excepting for one chair that was somewhat loose). I showed my grandfather the gluten-free section at New Seasons, and I’m not sure if he was impressed or not – but I think i get my suppression of being impressed from him, so maybe they were. Either way, my mom was, and picked up some rice/tapioca flour hamburger buns and pizza crusts. It’ll make life easier for her when she’s cooking dinner.

Speaking of dinner, we tried out Halo Thai down on 16th and Alberta. The day we’d placed a bid on the house, we came back that evening and walked the street to get a feel for it – you know – reality check for whether or not we’d made a huge mistake. We spoke with two women and their kids about the neighborhood and they suggested that Halo was better than the place down our alley. I’m not sure it was better or worse because the two were quite different. The owner of Halo is Laotian, and I tried the fried catfish with red chili sauce on his recommendation, and it was excellent. The pad thai – the american litmus test for thai food – was quite different from most places I’ve had. Good in it’s own right, but different.

Now my mom is headed back to Yakima (which will be the same temperature today at 98F – why am I riding my bike?) to get my grandparents back for some appointments. It was a nice quick visit – and excellent to have them see the place (and approve of it, I think).

Dumpster Juice

At the end of our walk this morning, Barley made a quick lick at a stain of dumpster juice that was dribbling from the eroded corner of the bin outside a restaurant down the street. I yanked him away quickly because last week there had been maggots in the juice, and after a week of 80F plus weather, god knows what else might be in it. Gross.

Intelligent Design?

Bush thinks intelligent design should be taught along side evolution in the classroom? That’s as preposterous as the article calling intelligent design a “theory.” Maybe he just want’s to see his name in headlines next to the word “Intelligent.” I suppose that would require that he actually read the paper.

Really though, what kind of introduction does intelligent design require? You spend 100% of the time teaching the chemistry, physics, and biology that have been involved in the rigorous pursuit and development of the theory of evolution for over a century, and at the end you mention that some people are afraid of some of the contradictions that the theory means to their belief system. Sure – Intelligent Design is a lovely idea and many great minds like Einstein and Hawking feel that the beauty of the universe is evidence for a god, but they don’t dilute their work with personal feelings. And Bush should quit diluting – well – everything. Especially science.

The fullness of the weekend

We just completed a massive weekend, and though I’m quite exhausted, we had a blast. For me, the weekend started with dinner at Lagniappe’s (awesome) at their new location on 19th and Alberta and a walk up and down the street for Last Thursday. Although hotter than usual, it was still a hoot excepting for the challenge of parking. I took Friday off to clean and complete errands before the weekend. Friday Michelle and I attended a wedding for one of her co-workers at the Adrianna Hill Grand Ballroom on the second floor of a building on the corner of Yamhill and THE SUN. It was kind of hot, and while wool does have excellent wicking properties, the phrase “cool wool” is still a misnomer. Afterwards we headed over to Scott & Stephanie’s immensely transformed back yard and caught up with friend from Bellingham.

Saturday we started with breakfast at the Vita Cafe then headed out towards Estacada for some refreshing cliff jumping and swimming in the Clackamas River. I love the small section of river and Barley couldn’t get enough swimming. I have a wolverine-like scratch on my chest to prove it. Sadly, it’s hard to get pictures while you’re swimming so hopefully Justin and Matt got some good shots. Then it was back to Portland for some food and then down to OBF for an evening of beer and reverie.

Sunday was a little slower – for me anyway, and most everyone got a surprisingly early start. Michelle and I met Hilary and Fletcher at Aja for some breakfast and then picked up a Holboellia (or china blue) vine for one side of the arbor. Tommy stopped by again before heading home because traffic sucked and who really wants to sit on an idling engine in all black clothing at the hottest part of the day? So we checked the video store for Faster and ended up instead getting some ice cream. It’s been ages since we’ve done that.

Naturally, this is the short summary.