You’ve probably read all the different “National Database” and “Shared Databases” stories recently. State and Federal Agencies want to share information on you so that there won’t be any more breaches in intelligence (i.e. September 11th). Naturally, every major tech company has offered their product in some form; Oracle, Sun, and now Microsoft all want in on the pie.
I’m not against National IDs or shared databases for security reasons, but if we were going to use Microsoft Passport and the .Net scheme of things, we may as well sell our personal information ourselves. Would Microsoft sell our information? Who knows (probably), but if their contribution to national security was anything like their contribution to network or software security, we’re screwed.
That’s why I think I should change my name. Not to something normal, but to a function. This way, when my name, Andy =CONCATENATE(B3:B5) is entered into the database, I’ll be stored as Andy SmithWatersFord or some such thing. This is only the beginning. People could change their names to a problematic script that would randomly copy and past data to other places. These “macros” or whatever you want to call them would be like status symbols. Imagine sticking your card into an ATM and having that stupid “Are you sure you want to withdraw money, some last names may contain Macros that can damage your computer” message pop up.
What would your name be?